If i owned a pretentious restaurant

The defining principle of the relationship between a customer and a restaurant should be the exchange of money for good food. In a restaurant, i believe that the less choice, the better.

In any situation where money is exchanged for a service, i think that tricking customers out of more money is abhorrent behaviour. Two places i have worked in have engaged in this practice, at both ends of the quality spectrum. One insisted we always default to a large portion if size was not specified. The other insisted we always default to paid water when we ask if they would like water.

Another common practice in this regard is to top up wine without being asked, the idea being that the faster the wine goes, the more likely the customer will be to buy more. This also feels wrong to me.

As i say, i think the less choice, the better. But i believe that the customer shouldn’t feel forced into anything. Instead, choice should be removed to make their experience more smooth.

When the customer sits down, they should be given water, not asked for it. The water does not make an appearance on the bill. They should be asked if they would like soup, and given the soup of the day if they choose it, as soon as possible. Before they receive the soup, they should have ordered the main course, which should come as soon as possible too. The way we can ensure this is to minimise the amount of different things the kitchen has to cook, so there is almost a production line to it.

The main courses available should be limited, and the menu should be sparse. That is, there should be no prices, calory information, or other superfluous information. There should be between four and six options, each with a name and a short description. The options should give people with any different dietary requirements a choice. Vegetarian options should not seem like an afterthought.

The price information is unnecessary because every meal costs the same price. Perhaps more expensive options don’t make a profit, but cheaper ones make more. Don’t let price be a part of the decision that informs what meal is chosen.

Wine menus are a bad idea too, because most people will choose the second cheapest wine. Instead, ask if they would like wine with their meal, and give them the wine “best suited” to that meal.