The velocipastor

I don’t really believe in ironically liking things. It feels disingenuous. I think that it is much better to be willing to authentically say that you like something, or to authentically say that you don’t like it. With that out of the way, i wholeheartedly love this film.

Right at the start of the film, we see a car blow up; except we don’t, because that would have cost too much or looked bad, or something, and so the director chose to give us a text label and let our imaginations fill in the blanks. This sets the scene for the kind of comedy that we’ll be getting throughout, and for the level of polish that we’ll be getting.

I recently wrote about how i thought it was important that we don’t let perfect media dissuade us from making our own things. Velocipastor is close to the platonic ideal of that. The budget was about thirty thousand dollars. Were the actors perfect? No, but they were good enough to tell the story. Was the script perfect? No, but the pace was pretty good and most of the jokes landed. Were the sets perfect? No, but they served well enough to distinguish the different settings of the film. Were the effects perfect? No, but everyone leaned into this and the result was quite funny.

The point is, a group of people decided to make a film, and then they made a film. Most people can’t say that. And despite its incredible level of jankiness, this film provided more enjoyment than maybe ninety percent of the films i’ve seen recently. By being more janky, more jankiness was acceptable, and we could focus on the good elements, rather than the bad elements sticking out.

So, the good elements: the script was funny and the premise original. The acting was mostly serviceable throughout, and the plot mostly had good continuity, although there were a few sudden abrupt transitions. There were some pretty unique visual effects, including a montage which consisted of playing the whole film up to that point in fast forward. There was a dinosaur and ninjas. All the bad guys got beaten up in satisfying ways.

If you have very high standards for polish, you will not like this film. But if you like any kind of fun or weirdness, you will find something to like here. Definitely recommended.